This year has been filled with blessings and trials that seem to be all wrapped up in the same package. I have struggled this year emotionally more than in the past. The pregnancy hormones the have consistently been running in my body for most of the year play an enormous role but I also feel like I am at the cusp of something and I am not able to put my finger on it quite yet.
I am looking forward to a new year and some of the changes it will bring. I look forward to meeting the last child I will ever carry in my body. I anticipate that my good-bye to pregnancy will not be nothing short of joyous jubilation. I will not look back at this time of child-bearing with any sweetness or tenderness. I reserve those feelings for the first moments I laid eyes on my children. Carrying them to term is a whole other ball game as far as I am concerned. But back to the business of this past year....
Most of this year was bitter and full of sadness and yet there was such undeniable joy in some of the most unexpected moments that it starts to pale in to comparison to all the "bad" of this year. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it did. Just when I thought there was no hope, there would be just enough to carry on. And just when I thought I couldn't be happier, I found myself relishing in some of the sweetest joy a person could experience on Earth. So in the end, it was a year I am glad to have lived but hope to not relive any time soon. I have a feeling there is no deal out there where I could just bundle up the good parts and leave out the bad parts. Such is life...
I pray that 2011 will be a year full of abundant growth within my soul and spirit and the shrinking of my ungratefulness and waistline. I would ask for more guidance as I raise my children while maintaining who I am separate from them. I would seek for more patience and grace for dealings with my husband. I would hope to be the kind of friend a friend would be proud to have. To be at peace for being nothing but authentic and to live an unapologetic life for who I am and what I believe to be true. I would like to kneel a little more and whine a little less. And on the more frivolous side I would prefer to have my sweet tooth to be satisfied with just one bite of chocolate and not needing the whole cake. Although, I am hopeful this year food scientists will be able to engineer a better than sex cake that is 0 calories. A girl can hope, right?!
Happy New Year! Wishes for a blessed and abundant year ahead!
3 comments:
I say focus on the calorie burning better then chocolate cake sex.
I love what you wrote. Many of the same things are on my list. I look forward to seeing the beautiful life you being into the world this year! Much love to you!!
Well put Took. I think you speak for many of us. Wishing you the very best this year :)
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